The day is waning and Jerry is still holding on.
He has had a good day with his vitals and was put on meds to help maintain his blood pressure levels. He is no longer using the pressure mask for oxygen instead moving back to the oxygen hose into his nose. He actually seems to be breathing easier this way.
At our request, they did draw some blood late this morning to let us know how everything stand.s As suspected, his liver is no longer processing anything; his kidneys are failing and his blood pressure is dropping.
Jerry is not speaking too much today. It seems to zap him of energy and strength and we've decided to let him do as little as possible.
We have spoken to a few people here in the Palliable Care unit to help everyone cope and (eventually) move forward. The kids are dealing as well as can be expected, the adults are doing exactly like you think they would be doing.
It has been a long day, and the evening hours will be equally as long and harrowing.
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Matter of Time
The clock is winding down and the inevitable is upon us.
Jerry is done fighting the good fight and is now remaining with us in comfort for his last amount of time. How long that will be is now up to him.
Mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephews; cousins and dearest long time family friends are with him at the moment. Those that were here and couldn't remain for various reasons are here in spirit and are being kept updated regularly.
The "old neighborhood" came en masse last night and visited as well - sharing storeis of Ally McBeal night and other fond memories from back in the day.
We managed to have a "slumber party" if you will with about 20 people here all night in the waiting room. We have shared some memorable stories and antics of Jerry while also brinigng a lively decibel level to the ICU halls at 2:00 am.
Jerry rested comfortably last night and his vital stats have remained unchanged. His blood pressure is dropping, but his oxygen and heart rate are still very good. He has agreed to put the oxygen pressure mask on to help him breath, but at this point, other than the pain meds - that is the only assistance he is receiving medically.
It seems he is no longer quite lucid (although, it is 8am so he could have been out of it due to sleep). Not even Aunt Barb singing "You Sexy Thing" seemed to register with him.
He is back to facing outside and the cityscape of Kansas City for his last views, along with various family picutres and notes on the wall for him.
We will all remain by his side until such time that he decides to move on to his next step - hoping that is a long time coming.
Jerry is done fighting the good fight and is now remaining with us in comfort for his last amount of time. How long that will be is now up to him.
Mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephews; cousins and dearest long time family friends are with him at the moment. Those that were here and couldn't remain for various reasons are here in spirit and are being kept updated regularly.
The "old neighborhood" came en masse last night and visited as well - sharing storeis of Ally McBeal night and other fond memories from back in the day.
We managed to have a "slumber party" if you will with about 20 people here all night in the waiting room. We have shared some memorable stories and antics of Jerry while also brinigng a lively decibel level to the ICU halls at 2:00 am.
Jerry rested comfortably last night and his vital stats have remained unchanged. His blood pressure is dropping, but his oxygen and heart rate are still very good. He has agreed to put the oxygen pressure mask on to help him breath, but at this point, other than the pain meds - that is the only assistance he is receiving medically.
It seems he is no longer quite lucid (although, it is 8am so he could have been out of it due to sleep). Not even Aunt Barb singing "You Sexy Thing" seemed to register with him.
He is back to facing outside and the cityscape of Kansas City for his last views, along with various family picutres and notes on the wall for him.
We will all remain by his side until such time that he decides to move on to his next step - hoping that is a long time coming.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Moment of Peace
Jerry has decided to stop receiving medicines and fluids as well as accepting the no-go on the Chemo and Radiation. He is however, still taking meds to alleviate any pain he is in.
He is resting fairly comfortably and family and close friends have been by his side all day. He no longer has the oxygen pressure mask or tubes on him constantly- he has instead chosen to take it off and talk with people when he can. He does have the small tube in his nose so he is still receiving oxygen as needed.
The hospital has stopped giving him meds (per his request) and are still slightly monitoring him. He has declared his request to live out the remainder of his days in comfort and not have all the drugs and machines hooked up to him. It has been hard to hear, but we are respecting his wishes and hoping for the best. His vitals this evening were very good - his breathing seems to actually have improved some from earlier in the day.
We have been visiting him individually for about 10 minutes at a time so as not to overwhelm him, or tire him out.
We do not have any sort of time frame for Jerry... we have been told it could be hours, days or even a week. A Priest came in to visit with him earlier this evening to help him be at peace.
Jerry seems at peace for the first time in a long time and he does not look in too much pain.
He is resting fairly comfortably and family and close friends have been by his side all day. He no longer has the oxygen pressure mask or tubes on him constantly- he has instead chosen to take it off and talk with people when he can. He does have the small tube in his nose so he is still receiving oxygen as needed.
The hospital has stopped giving him meds (per his request) and are still slightly monitoring him. He has declared his request to live out the remainder of his days in comfort and not have all the drugs and machines hooked up to him. It has been hard to hear, but we are respecting his wishes and hoping for the best. His vitals this evening were very good - his breathing seems to actually have improved some from earlier in the day.
We have been visiting him individually for about 10 minutes at a time so as not to overwhelm him, or tire him out.
We do not have any sort of time frame for Jerry... we have been told it could be hours, days or even a week. A Priest came in to visit with him earlier this evening to help him be at peace.
Jerry seems at peace for the first time in a long time and he does not look in too much pain.
I Don't Know What To Say....
Truly, I don't... this has been an up and down weekend and the hits just keep on coming.
The doctors just told us that Jerry is NOT getting any better and that in fact, his kidneys have all but stopped functioning. They could put him on dialysis, but they don't think in the long run it will be worth it.
His breathing has gotten worse and they have moved him from a standard mask to a "pressure mask" to help him breathe, however, it still isn't helping like they want it to. They are talking about putting him on a respirator, however, he has told our parents that he wants quality of life ..so that is probaby not an option.
We are in the throes of making some extremely tough decisions right now as the worst that we feared seems to have come to pass.
Decisions will be made in the next 24 hours that will affect all our lives forever. We are still praying for a miracle... but are having to face the harsh light of reality at the moment.
The doctors just told us that Jerry is NOT getting any better and that in fact, his kidneys have all but stopped functioning. They could put him on dialysis, but they don't think in the long run it will be worth it.
His breathing has gotten worse and they have moved him from a standard mask to a "pressure mask" to help him breathe, however, it still isn't helping like they want it to. They are talking about putting him on a respirator, however, he has told our parents that he wants quality of life ..so that is probaby not an option.
We are in the throes of making some extremely tough decisions right now as the worst that we feared seems to have come to pass.
Decisions will be made in the next 24 hours that will affect all our lives forever. We are still praying for a miracle... but are having to face the harsh light of reality at the moment.
Sleep filled days and nights
Jerry has managed to go thru 2 treatments of the special Chemo cocktail and will resume Radiation on Monday.
The weekend has been pretty good for him. His color has improved ten-fold; his jaundice has all but disappeared. He has started to rest more comfortably since Friday evening as well - managing to sleep during the day and thru most of the nights. They did tell us that the Chemo cocktail they started him on will make him tired .. so we expected this.
His vitals have remained stable as well after a Saturday morning where his Oxygen levels were dangerously low. They have since put a tube in his nose to pump Oxygen into his system and help him breathe. Blood sugars are a bit low, but rising every hour. His liver count is continuing to decrease (woo hoo.. special dance) and his blood pressure looks strong.
The new chemo treatements have shown some of the side effects the doctor said may show such as blood in the urine and fluid in his belly - however, the fluid in the belly is not enough to worry about and the blood in the urine (which shows itself almost immediately after his treatment and then tapers off after a few hours. The doctors are not concerned about these but are monitoring them closely.
They did take him off of the nutrition IV as his system was not digesting it. They upped his fluids instead to replace the nutrition he is no longer receiving.
We talked to the docter on scene yesterday, who had also talked to his Oncologist (Dr. Williamson) - neither were thrilled with the lack of progress after 24 hours of the Chemo cocktail. They had hoped that the treatement would immediately start to break down the tumor in the liver "lyrosis" I believe is what they called it - where the tumor starts to break down and is digested back into the body.
He also told us that Jerry is basically breathing on one lung at the moment. This came as a shock as we didn't realize he had progressed that far. The cancer in his lung as well as the swollen lymph nodes and the tumor in his liver pushing his diaphram and everything up into his lung has significantly decreased his lung capacity making it harder to breath. This is why they connected him to a tube after his oxygen levels had dropped so low. They have mentioned that if his Oxygen levels stay decreased, they may switch to an Oxygen mask instead of only the tube.
His abdomen is still very rigid and tender. Due to the fact that they are pumping so many liquids into him as well as the Chemo drugs, they feel that he may be getting more fluid into his abdomen then they previously thought. If keeps up, they may take him down and "drain" the fluid from him to help him breath.
All in all, he's had some good moments and bad moments. We've had good news and not so great news.
The weekend has been pretty good for him. His color has improved ten-fold; his jaundice has all but disappeared. He has started to rest more comfortably since Friday evening as well - managing to sleep during the day and thru most of the nights. They did tell us that the Chemo cocktail they started him on will make him tired .. so we expected this.
His vitals have remained stable as well after a Saturday morning where his Oxygen levels were dangerously low. They have since put a tube in his nose to pump Oxygen into his system and help him breathe. Blood sugars are a bit low, but rising every hour. His liver count is continuing to decrease (woo hoo.. special dance) and his blood pressure looks strong.
The new chemo treatements have shown some of the side effects the doctor said may show such as blood in the urine and fluid in his belly - however, the fluid in the belly is not enough to worry about and the blood in the urine (which shows itself almost immediately after his treatment and then tapers off after a few hours. The doctors are not concerned about these but are monitoring them closely.
They did take him off of the nutrition IV as his system was not digesting it. They upped his fluids instead to replace the nutrition he is no longer receiving.
We talked to the docter on scene yesterday, who had also talked to his Oncologist (Dr. Williamson) - neither were thrilled with the lack of progress after 24 hours of the Chemo cocktail. They had hoped that the treatement would immediately start to break down the tumor in the liver "lyrosis" I believe is what they called it - where the tumor starts to break down and is digested back into the body.
He also told us that Jerry is basically breathing on one lung at the moment. This came as a shock as we didn't realize he had progressed that far. The cancer in his lung as well as the swollen lymph nodes and the tumor in his liver pushing his diaphram and everything up into his lung has significantly decreased his lung capacity making it harder to breath. This is why they connected him to a tube after his oxygen levels had dropped so low. They have mentioned that if his Oxygen levels stay decreased, they may switch to an Oxygen mask instead of only the tube.
His abdomen is still very rigid and tender. Due to the fact that they are pumping so many liquids into him as well as the Chemo drugs, they feel that he may be getting more fluid into his abdomen then they previously thought. If keeps up, they may take him down and "drain" the fluid from him to help him breath.
All in all, he's had some good moments and bad moments. We've had good news and not so great news.
Father Can You Hear Me?
Our sister Tanya has a prayer group back in Tiffin, IA that has been praying for Jerry and sending good thoughts and energy his way. They have discovered a priest that will say special prayers for people in need and he has had good success.
So, Padre Pio has come into our world.
If you are praying or speaking to whomever you speak to in your private moments, throw a special prayer, request or shout out to Padre Pio to watch over Jerry and help him thru everything that is going on right now.
The power of prayer can be amazing.... both spiritually and emotionally.
So, Padre Pio has come into our world.
If you are praying or speaking to whomever you speak to in your private moments, throw a special prayer, request or shout out to Padre Pio to watch over Jerry and help him thru everything that is going on right now.
The power of prayer can be amazing.... both spiritually and emotionally.
Friday, January 9, 2009
At Last Some Good News!
Today started off like any other, and then this evening we received some fantastic news from the Oncologist.
Jerry now has a window view room (after they turned his bed to face out the window) and he has spectacular views of Kansas City and downtown (He said it's look really pretty at night). We are calling it his "penthouse suite with a view".
Jerry had his second round of Radiation this afternoon. His next bout of Chemotherapy will be in 3 weeks. He is looking very well for everything he is going through. They are still keeping him connected to the food and IV as well as an intravenous pain drug. He is also receiving Heparnin for his heart and Insulin to help aid his liver and kidneys. He has these in order to counter act the affects of the Chemotherapy.
The Oncologist came in this afternoon with the results of the biopsy from Wednesday. They are almost now positive that the Cancer is the Lymphoma type. This is GREAT news in that, they want to try a second "cocktail" of Chemotherapy that is more aggressive and will really target what is going on with his system. The treatment will last over a period of 5 days and is one of the more aggressive types they can use. There are however, a few side affects such as disorientation, and stress on the liver but the doctors and Jerry feel that this is ok compared to what the end results could be. They are doing a lower dose of the cocktail than they would normally in order to cause less stress/strain on the liver. They plan to start it tonight (Friday).
Jerry is very pumped with this news and we are all excited to get this treatment going. His attitude is truly great for everything that is going on, especially after the news this evening.
He is surrounded by his family and a lot of friends at the hospital. We have managed to take over one of the visitor lounges - and even scared off 2 people that thought about coming in to sit this evening. His nurses are really friendly and they are taking excellent care of him.
Tomorrow will bring a brand new day bright and clear ...and we have very good feelings after this evening's news.
Jerry now has a window view room (after they turned his bed to face out the window) and he has spectacular views of Kansas City and downtown (He said it's look really pretty at night). We are calling it his "penthouse suite with a view".
Jerry had his second round of Radiation this afternoon. His next bout of Chemotherapy will be in 3 weeks. He is looking very well for everything he is going through. They are still keeping him connected to the food and IV as well as an intravenous pain drug. He is also receiving Heparnin for his heart and Insulin to help aid his liver and kidneys. He has these in order to counter act the affects of the Chemotherapy.
The Oncologist came in this afternoon with the results of the biopsy from Wednesday. They are almost now positive that the Cancer is the Lymphoma type. This is GREAT news in that, they want to try a second "cocktail" of Chemotherapy that is more aggressive and will really target what is going on with his system. The treatment will last over a period of 5 days and is one of the more aggressive types they can use. There are however, a few side affects such as disorientation, and stress on the liver but the doctors and Jerry feel that this is ok compared to what the end results could be. They are doing a lower dose of the cocktail than they would normally in order to cause less stress/strain on the liver. They plan to start it tonight (Friday).
Jerry is very pumped with this news and we are all excited to get this treatment going. His attitude is truly great for everything that is going on, especially after the news this evening.
He is surrounded by his family and a lot of friends at the hospital. We have managed to take over one of the visitor lounges - and even scared off 2 people that thought about coming in to sit this evening. His nurses are really friendly and they are taking excellent care of him.
Tomorrow will bring a brand new day bright and clear ...and we have very good feelings after this evening's news.
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